Elements Of Class.
Written By ZÉN Wisdom Banks
I have been fortunate enough to have firsthand experience in various social environments and have observed communication patterns across different social classes, including the lower, middle, and upper class. One striking common value that I have noticed regardless of the setting is the universal expectation of respect. Respect is not negotiable; it is a fundamental principle ingrained in the honor codes of families. It is considered a mark of maturity at its finest. The way in which individuals choose to communicate verbally can greatly influence the response they receive from others. There is a significant difference between lashing out in anger and expressing one’s feelings calmly and constructively.
While yelling and screaming may attract attention, the intended message is often lost in the process. Such outlandish behavior can have severe consequences, negatively affecting how others perceive you and taking a toll on your reputation. Statistically speaking, when people are yelled at or feel attacked, their natural response is to enter a defensive state in order to protect themselves. This holds true even if the information being shouted out is meaningful. In most cases, such confrontations lead to a chain of undesirable outcomes.
When emotions and feelings are triggered, they can blind one’s thoughts and prompt individuals to yell back or react aggressively. This type of unhealthy and unresolved communication does not foster positive relationships. It is important to note that disagreements are a normal part of life, however disrespect should never be tolerated. Expressing anger and aggression while tearing down others, whether it be a partner, cashier, customer, Uber driver, store clerk, friend, family member, waiter/waitress, business associate, or anyone else, will never create a healthy environment.
What is the root cause of toxic communication? Where does it come from? Unfortunately, many parents unconsciously disrespect their children through communication because they believe they have the authority to do so. Life has shown that this parenting style often leads to resentment, disrespect, potential drug addictions, and perpetuates the cycle of toxic communication. Children grow up and unconsciously mirror these behaviors towards their parents and others. This pattern continues unless individuals actively learn how to be aware of their auto pilot behaviors and choose to reprogram their communication styles and expand their consciousness.
Just imagine a world where humans possess the tools to better manage their emotions. I firmly believe that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) holds greater importance than Intelligence Quotient (IQ). This is why I advocate for emotional intelligence and effective communication to be integrated into all educational curricula worldwide, starting from Kindergarten. As a society, we must set aside our egos, reduce confrontations, and practice the art of calm communication to minimize unnecessary drama and conflicts.
Our objective should be to nurture children into becoming responsible and productive members of society, as they are the future. As adults, we need to lead by example. Effective communication should be the norm in healthy environments and relationships. I now understand that effective communication is the hidden gem that enables us to pour unconditional love and infinite abundance into the lives of others.
I am a black man who choose to become better with communition and articulation. I’m just one of many examples working towards raising awareness within the black culture. I aim to demonstrate that reading books and speaking in a respectful and educated manner are not just reserved for wealthy and privileged white families. We can switch between different communication styles, adapting from ebonics to professional corporate language, while still staying true to our roots with sophistication. We possess the freedom to do so. Our culture is a driving force behind progress. Love is the guiding principle, and family is a significant aspect of our lives. Respect is paramount, and proper interactions are the foundation of meaningful engagements. Namaste.
